From tolerated to celebrated: how we can include children in our services

I was intrigued. This wasn’t a typical Sunday morning; I was conducting research for my master’s degree into children’s voices in the church. Towards the end of the focus group, I asked a five-year-old boy about the sad faces. He confidently told me, ​“Those are the people in grown-up church. I think they’re sad because church is more fun in our bit.”

We often talk about children as ​“the future of the church” instead of recognising that they are the church now. God’s kingdom is for every age and stage, and all-age worship makes that visible – with multiple generations learning and worshipping side by side. It challenges the consumer mindset that church is about personal preference and reorients us toward community, belonging and shared purpose.

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Yet too often, all-age worship is reduced to an annual ​‘family service’, where children perform a song or reading before being ushered back to their assigned spaces. These services can feel disruptive to the usual rhythm of church life – less predictable, less polished – but perhaps that’s part of their gift.

Valuing children as image-bearers with inherent worth has long been a distinctive aspect of the Judeo-Christian tradition. Throughout scripture, children are central to God’s promises, active in His story, and often used to reveal His truth. In the Gospels, when the disciples tried to send children away, Jesus said, ​“Let the little children come to me… for the kingdom of Heaven belongs to such as these” (Matthew 19:14). Jesus doesn’t just tolerate or include children – He celebrates them.

While all-age worship is vital for building intergenerational community, it’s also important to recognise the value of thoughtfully designed spaces, specifically for children. These environments allow churches to offer tailored teaching, opportunities for connection, and space to explore faith in ways that are accessible and engaging. Issues arise when these spaces become a child’s sole experience of church. Some of the children I spoke to as part of my research expressed a sense of disconnection from the ​‘big church’ because they spent so little time there.

Child-like faith isn’t shallow – it’s full of curiosity, awe and big questions. Children often bring scripture to life in unexpected ways. They ask the questions that adults might be too proud, busy or nervous to ask. They worship with freedom and sincerity, and when we plan worship with children in mind – not just as attendees but as contributors – we create room for mutual transformation. For them, but also for us.

I am deeply thankful for the people who shared Jesus with me when I was younger – their care and consistency laid a foundation that continues to shape my walk with Christ. All-age worship honours that legacy by helping children take their place in the life of the church – not as spectators but as valued participants. It offers a visible reminder that every generation has something to offer – and something to receive – as we follow Jesus together.

So, how do we do all-age worship well? Here are three practical tips from Dr Millie Bellew, children’s development officer for the Church of Ireland Diocese of Down and Dromore:

1. Create intergenerational touch points.
   A multigenerational church has all the ages present, but an intergenerational church chooses to make sure that they connect. Design parts of the service where generations interact meaningfully. This could be through sharing responses after the service, providing opportunities for all ages to serve on various teams, or inviting different ages to co-lead the prayers or the Bible reading.
2. Design for engagement, not entertainment.
   Prioritise participation over performance, using elements like call and response, actions, or reflection times where everyone is invited to take part – not just observe.
   
3. Use visuals, stories, or short videos to bring key truths to life.
   Provide sermon handouts or activity sheets for children, with spaces to doodle, take notes, or write down questions. It’s not about diluting down the gospel – it’s about opening God’s word and inviting the Holy Spirit to minister to everyone, exactly where they’re at.

Without children, the church is incomplete. The frequency and style of all-age worship will naturally vary from place to place, but the heart behind it must remain the same: that children are celebrated as image-bearers; not just entertained, but equipped to thrive, grow in their faith and add their unique song to the chorus of the church.